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Results indicate you may be struggling

This stage seems like the opposite of flow. This is when you’re working hard, pushing to train, research, brainstorm – when you’re overloading the brain with information until it feels like your head is about to explode. Most people never push past this first stage far enough, why is why they constantly miss the doorway to the flow experience.

When feeling overwhelmed, we end up stressed, confused, and our health is at risk. Everything feels important, and we don’t know which direction to start digging to get out of the hole we’ve found ourselves in.

Misfortune befalls us all. No matter how hard you might try to avoid trouble, struggles are just a reality of life.

 

Accidents, illness, and financial and relational stress are often out of our control and have the potential to drag us down in their powerful grasp.

There are no magic cures for avoiding struggles and stress. Research suggests that we’re not powerless in the wake of negative circumstances and situations.

Instead of powering through hard times, take a moment to stop and ask yourself: what practices can I implement in my life to help reduce my stress or cope with this struggle?

Step 1 ↝ Understand what triggers your feelings

Feeling overwhelmed is actually a stress response when we feel the demand on us outweighs our resources.

It’s easy to blame others for how busy you are. And oftentimes it is other people’s fault. However, this isn’t always the case. To start dealing with feeling overwhelmed, you first need to shift your perspective from being the victim to being in control.

Start by asking what has become so demanding in your day-to-day life/work. Is your boss piling on too much work? Are you spending too much time in watching TV? Do you feel you can’t say ‘no’ to people?

 

Simply writing down everything you have to do is a good place to start. Create a list of everything that’s expected of you this week. And pay special attention to the issues, tasks or projects you’ve been putting off. What’s causing you to procrastinate rather than get deal with the real issue or strike tasks off your list?

 

Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we want to do things when we really don’t. But our mood rarely lies. The more your gut tells you not to do something, the more likely you are to push it aside and let it become a source of stress and overwhelm.

Step 2 ↝ Take time out and plan your strategy

With your list of expectations and triggers in hand, it’s time to start working through them, right? Not yet.

 

Stress actually closes off the more creative parts of our mind and can distort our perception of time. Which means diving into your looming list of matters to attend to will only be detrimental to the end result. In other words, stressed, problems/tasks take longer to resolve and suffering endures.

 

Instead, you should take a break to regroup and strategize your plan of attack.

 

There are huge psychological and health benefits to taking a bit of out. And so you really need to fight the urge to dive right back into your growing to-do list. Instead, take a 10-minute walk, eat something healthy, and get some fresh air. This should help knock your brain out of ‘survival mode’ so you can plan a proper way to deal with feeling overwhelmed.

 

This calm before the storm is also a good opportunity to bring other people in for advice and perspective.

 

Approach conversations from the perspective that you’re being proactive about your the issue of concern. For example, “I feel like I have a lot on my plate right now and would love your help figuring out the best way to tackle it all.”

 

This not only shows you’re concerned about certain areas of concern. But also makes them aware they shouldn’t be asking more of you right now.

Step 3 ↝ Prioritise the ONE thing you have to do today

What comes next is the pivotal moment in making sure you go down the right path and not just back to feeling overwhelmed again.

 

You most likely got into the situation you’re in now because it felt like everything carried equal importance. Which is natural. In a lot of situations, it’s hard or uncomfortable to set priorities. However, when you try to make progress on everything at once, you only end up thrashing and wasting your time.

 

Instead, you need to force yourself to prioritise tasks. One of the simplest ways to do this is to use what’s called the Ivy Lee method:

  • At the end of each day, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
  • Prioritise those six items in order of their true importance (If you’re unsure what this means, try using something like the Eisenhower Matrix).
  • Then tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
  • Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
  • Repeat this process every day.

 

Depending on the nature of your issue/work, you’ll probably want to start with less than six tasks. In fact, even just prioritising the single most important task to do each day is a good way start.

 

When you start prioritising your tasks, make sure you commit to one of these tasks per day. It might not seem like much, but dealing with easy, yet stressful work in a systematic way will quickly get rid of some of the stress that’s been hanging over you.

Step 4 ↝ Delegate and ask for help

Now, what about the rest of the tasks/jobs spilling off your to-do list?

To come back from being overwhelmed, you need to fight the urge to just plough back into your overwhelmed habits. By its very nature, prioritising tasks/work means certain things will be at the bottom of the list. The Eisenhower Matrix terms these are the tasks that are “less important and less urgent”.

If something can be done 80% as well by someone else, delegate!

How to do you know what you can and should delegate to others? And how do you go about doing it? Delegation is a skill that takes time to master and depends on the people you’re surrounded by. One a Delegation Matrix:

 

To use the matrix, take the task you think you’d like to delegate and the person you’d like to give it to and see what quadrant they end up in. Are they capable and willing? Then go ahead and delegate. Are they less capable but willing? Pair them with someone else and help support them as the learn.

 

The goal here is to get rid of the sense that only you can do the work and recognize the support you have around you. So, before you get back into working through your overwhelming to-do list, ask what you can pass on to others – and what you can outright drop.

 

Asking for help or delegating isn’t admitting defeat, it’s simply showing you know what work matters and where you should be spending your time.

Step 5 ↝ Singletask your way through the list

At this point, you should have a challenging, yet manageable list of work to do. But we’re not quite out of the woods yet.

A self-sabotaging thinking habit is to overcomplicate solutions to problems. You might imagine that what’s necessary to move forward is something more complicated or difficult than is reality.

As you work through your list of tasks, it’s important to stick to the simplest solutions/easier problems to resolve so you can more onto what’s next. Start with a single task/problem and then ask “what’s next?”

Working through your tasks/problems in a systematic way like this builds confidence and puts you in control. Instead of worrying about the multiple issues/things you need to do, you only have to think about what can be done now. And what comes next.

Learn to better support someone in a crisis (incl. panic + anxiety attacks)